Reinventing Relationships for the 21st Century: Entering the HEARTSPACE

by Celia Fenn

waterheart.jpg Italian/Italiano

Relationships, and how to do them successfully, seem more and more to be the focus of our energy and attention at this time in our transition process. Many of us are working hard to redefine the way we relate to others, especially in our primary and love relationships. Archangel Michael has asked me to share this information with you, in the knowledge that it will assist you on this path.

Before we look at the new way of relating, we need to just look back and see what relationships were about previously. In metaphysical terms, relationships, like most other aspects of life in the 20th century, were conducted from the lower three chakras. This meant that most relationships were a trade-off around Money (Base chakra), Sex (Sacral Chakra) and Power (Solar Plexus Chakra). Whatever feelings and emotions brought people together, they would inevitably have to contend with the issues of money, power and sex in their daily relating. And of course, these will still be issues to a certain extent, as a relationship is grounded, but relationships in the 21st century need also to enter into the Heartspace or Heart Chakra, where spirit and soul may also become a part of the relationship. A central and important part.

Money, Sex and Power - how it used to be

A primary adult relationship, or loving relationship, would inevitably mean that the two people involved would at some stage begin to live together. The need for closeness and companionship being a primary human need, loving relationships have always and will continue to express themselves in cohabitation and physical closeness.

Traditionally - the trade off has been between the sexes. The male works for money and the female tends the home. This enables the partnership to create a home and afford and maintain what is needed. The sex between them produces the family. The power has traditionally been vested in the male, as part of a hierarchical patriarchal social form.

The Changes

However, powerful social changes starting in the mid- 20th century in the developed world, meant that these traditional assumptions about relationships have become obsolete, even though many of us are still working with them on a subconscious level.

The Feminist revolution meant that women began working outside of the home as the norm. Careers for women and dual income partnerships are now accepted. This creates problems in the traditional structures of relationships, since women are now also money providers, and in some cases provide more than men. The balance of power has now shifted, as we move away from hierarchical models of relating. And no one is entirely sure how sex fits into this new kind of relationship.

What emerges from this transition is that relationships are now about two people who are equal in ability and power, and who are primarily seeking companionship and closeness, rather than just a trade-off on the physical level.

The way to achieve this is to enter into the Heartspace, or the Heart Chakra, as the primary location of the relationship. Once this is achieved, then the other levels can be negotiated according to the needs of each individual couple.

Heartspace and Communion

These are the two terms given to me by Archangel Michael that define the new way of relating.

The relationship has to be primarily about being in the Heart. This means being in touch with FEELINGS and being able to EXPRESS these feelings in creative and empowering ways.

Many people think that this means being able to communicate verbally. In some ways this is true. But I have noticed that women tend to be better verbal communicators of feelings than men. How often do I hear women complaining about how they can have long discussions about their feelings with their girlfriends, but not with the men who are important to them.

Does this mean that men have to become like women and talk about their feelings?

Well -maybe?

But I think it would serve us all far better if we realised that talking about feelings is not the only answer.

It is just talking - and tends to be circular, even if it makes the person talking feel better.

But NON-VERBAL expression is often far more important in expressing feelings.

And perhaps women now need to learn techniques of non-verbal or Heart-Centred expression that will allow them to connect with their partners.


Communion is a term that has religious connotations, being related to the sacrament of Christ's death and the ritual of the Last Supper. But what Christ probably meant, was that we learn to commune with each other by becoming one with the other being.

In religious communion, one drinks the wine and eats the bread that represent Christ's body, and becomes one with Christ in that moment.

The lesson for us is to "be" with others in such a way that we can become one with them. To understand them and be with them in such a way that explanations and stories are not important.

To see the divine essence in that person or being, and to let their essence resonate with yours. To feel their feelings as intensely as you feel your own, because in truth they are your own, or a mirror of your own.

When we understand that the person we have chosen to relate to is a part of us, and that what we see is ourself, then we can be in compassion and love with ourself and then with them. From this place of communion and understanding we can learn to relate with total acceptance - of ourselves and of others.


It is now so important to be able to love and accept yourself. Only if you are totally accepting of yourself will you be able to accept the person who holds up the mirror for you. And if you can love yourself, you will be able to love them and be with them.

Acceptance means to be able to be with that person in love and grace, without needing to change them or make them anything other than what they are in that moment. So many relationships fail because people see potential and fall in love with the potential. This is followed by frustration as the potential may never be realised.


In this place of Communion and Acceptance, the relationship will tend to become deep, warm and creative.

There are no rules for how the creativity is expressed - each couple will find unique and individual ways of empowering each other and expressing their growth as a result of their acceptance of each other.

The important aspect of a Heartspace relationship is that the partners will feel themselves to be empowered to be the best they can be at that time. They will be striving to express the highest good for themeselves and the relationship, from the place of acceptance, grace and gratitude for the person who has chosen to create with them.

And from there......

Once this place has been reached, the people concerned are able to negotiate how their relationship will be grounded.

How will they balance power, how will they interact sexually, and what role will money play in their relationship together.

These things can be negotiated, and not assumed, from a place of respect, caring and love.

For the Heartspace, if kept open, will continue to infuse the relationship with energy from the the Soul and Spirit levels, ensuring that the relationship stays a creative place of growth and love......

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© 2004-5 Celia Fenn
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